New day another pain more gains

Day is ruined. Wore a corset while sleeping for five hours. Sun rose, I slided on the floor and took the thing off. Everywhere hurts. Have a mocha cake slice. Owls hooing in near forest. Fall asleep. In that hour I dream. It is of abandonment and family disputes somewhere far away might as well been trying to get rid of me and nobody cares. I was the fastest sperm but it was too unlucky. I regret things I can't control, thanks mom.

Which one was the wrong foot to wake up on. Bastard. Trying to drink all the cola meant for alcohol mixers so that they wouldn't drink the alcohol. So stupid child. At least in my dream the father figure forced me to clean up although it was my sister's things. Laundry and a piece of paper in a trash bin but I locked myself in and they just left, leaving the place empty and ready except just me in there with little bit of clothes. My phone and could hear my dad saying about police that they could intervene with the bill, if I was found. As they'd left the key there and signed out. That's all so I went to find the police but outside fast forward I was lost, woke up, probably died.

Based on my childhood memories a bit. I was taken abroad with them one time in -97. I learned cursive probably in school around then. Anyway, quiet girl, crying when you cried. Usually why you cried. Afraid of father like he was some punishing God. Stepmom probably somehow influenced sister so that she wouldn't have permission to talk to me etc. I was calling my mother whore and she was sitting in her lap even as an adult.

I have that face that could kill if I looked at you. The frown. Looking mean. Tattered hair. A shattered mind. Madness within. Fcuk. Who made people the happiness police?