Happy another fucking day!!! October-no-masturbation approaching after which no-nut November feels like end

women never burnt their bras

My left index finger is numb and my pee is pretty dark... must be dehydration even though I drank more last weekend. Water I mean even got a fancy app on my phone. Well not so fancy aquarium. Headache is coming up.

Missed my gym time today. Laid on the sofa and played pokemon go an hour. I then opened another game. Halloween theme in a cute game. Collecting, strategy based, neverending quiet chores, games are appealing to my girlishness-

Time goes by. 

Spotify has been playing on my headphones since the morning. Nirvana & some of the songs my first crush used to listen so that brought bad memories too. Fell in love twice on him without getting anything back.. he was fun I have many useless memories about his renegadeness

Today... I was DM'd on Twitter by a band. The Verve Union(verified). I liked the music. It's just that Shaun Morgan from Seether has a voice that I can fall asleep to even though it's grunge and heavy. My favorite band since 2004<3 I'm not into metal and all the recommended music to me is pop. Quiet relaxing. I don't want to lose my hearing even if I think hearing the lyrics is more important.

What else. Lunch was spicy curry noodles or something new flavor I had not seen... I had rest of the mocha bites I made days ago while watching the movie yesterday and for breakfast.

My plans of 'no birthday sex' were spoiled. I wanted to be alone after making the man leave but... I already was bleeding and in the toilet when he just rang the door. Had to lay down in bed with restless feet. I think I stopped breathing while he came cuz I felt a bit of me died. Got me worried. Something to do with deprivation of air. Like a clump had travelled through the heart. Nothing serious but I should stop guys treating my mouth like their personal cum hole just gripping me from the head and do as they fucking please. He was still hard. It was no gift. Worth less than me but apparently they don't care about wrong or right if it just feels good. Fucking animals is not illegal go do bestiality or hurt ther men. You suck=all men do. Treat us like vaginas. Can't even. Transfer your bad lusts to a inanimate toys but then after you get used to it, don't treat women like I had explained. Show up, cum

Can't wait for not being able to reproduce. It has hardly been my decision. Wish they hurried that the fuck up. Silently just suffering years.

Wish they'd give me a button to destroy the whole male population. Hurry up that research on making the sex cells from anyone's own cells. Quit sex all together.

I'm not even religious and I think, the wanting, it's bad. Yeah he was dirty. Told him to wash, did not use soap. I don't like the taste of your pubic hair and I hate beards. If you're going to grow one then don't demand kisses from a woman. You are rough against the soft skin and fur is murder.

Anyways fuck all and fuck you and everywhere a fuck. I'd like to give a fuck but I don't deserve that. Fuckitol 0mg

It isn't a rape if he calls me his whore. It isn't me breaking up if he tells me to go back to selling myself. It's just the passion from another man 'lover' boyfriend the first asshole without being told what limits normal people set so they are not hurt and used. Abused. I let it go too far and we shouldn't have get caught up in one another. I didn't even love him for God's sake and he loved me because nobody else does.

Hate, hate, hate... you couldn't beat it out of yourself. 

I'm not strong I've just never been weak long enough.

My life is a trigger warning <3 If I was a GRANNY SENDING NAUGHTY PICTURES IN DM'S AND ASKING FOR FAVORS FOR AN IPHONE BUT IT WAS A 3G NOKIA AND IT ONLY HAS GOT THE CAPITAL LETTERS TO WRITE WITH

Ugh I wish I could give a discount to anyone interested in buying my damaged soul I hardly use the life...