dear blog if I shall sleep would you my soul to keep

Stayed up to receive money and then pay bills, but also listen to some music. Viva la Fri-yay!

Was sucking on some rainbow candy and didn’t brush my teeth. Also had my evening meds after midnight. Shouldn’t have drank the caffeinated vitamin drink. I was shopping with mom. Then online shopping.

It was a warm evening so I went to deposit some cash on my bank account. Went to mom’s place after, drove in her car to get a package of candies I had purchased some 4am. I slept until 2pm though. Tomorrow morning people are checking the waterworks of the building or heating plumbing something for repaired, 9am possibly visiting this loft too. 

Wearing pyjamas for that. Strange not to sleep naked. Strange to get to eat what I want. Cheesecake, ham and cheese sandwiches where the gouda is like thick as my finger slice of five minute ready barbecue style named cheese. Yum. A friend is supposed to drop off a present for me today. Could be a new pacifier. Wore my Yes Daddy choker to my little date with some construction worker guy off Badoo on Monday. I drank a lot of beer with him offering it to me. Said I would be more beautiful if I wasn’t so fat. Yeah. It is this wall I have against men, my own layer of protect. Dramatics. Having body confidence is so hard when you cannot wear what you want. Oh I read Vogue in the bathroom, uk September issue. Made me want to get stuff. Be materialistic? Trendy, wannabe fashionable, look rich and smell good and pretty as a brand logo adorned handbag. So handy clothes rack. Neon yellow and punk, still beige. I have liked yellow since seeing this one dress advertised in London 2006 and uhh. I lost my beige knit velvet jacket I had with black crop velvet pants. Velvet 🤤 dunno why I like. Stripes, silk sheets, floral tattoos

Punk is dead though. Needles and pins is poison running the veins etc