Involuntary life with hope and a sense of adventure, without responsibities they wouldn't have let me have

TW: he's 11 years older than me and kinda rapey

 I've had it with that guy. I blocked him. I haven't heard his voice in about a year and he's sighing and Oh'ing at me for deleting my snaps. That's the least of his worries. He never sends me anything first. It's always me trying to reach out and I'm just sick of it. Yesterday he fucked that 29 year old again and I saw pictures. He likes them but not any of pics with us in them or me for that matter. He's not my "Daddy" anymore. I called him that and it sort of stuck, but I am reclaiming or releasing it or whatever. You don't have to be a "type of a daddy" to get my attention. I am officially done with older guys. I'm getting old myself. I'll let them be disgusting old geezers I wouldn't touch with a ten feet pole. It's disgusting and it's nasty and it's not for me. I am sick but I'll get better. What a snake!

I would never set my foot in that snake pit. I'd never get on his shit brown bed with pigtails. I wouldn't. I hate him. He can die for all I care. I don't need his shit in my life. I averaged out too much screentime last week. What do I get out of it? Nothing.

It's burnt on my eyes. *rubs eyes furiously* And on my birthday he'll be at a fuckfest again. His people, not mine. I'd rather be a middle-class mom than rainbow folk. I tweeted he's worked for facebook and hasn't got a profile, but I just meant I once said I'd date anyone who I could put as a relationship status on that platform. Well turns out he was already out of my calculations. When will I ever wake up!

I need a relationship as a crutch now though. Trying to get my fupa admirer to fill the dom role maybe. I don't care. I am losing weight and I won't even consider being friendly towards him until I lost at least over six kilograms which is double I have lost now. Then maybe a stone? A dress size?

I met him like over a dozen years ago probably and it wasn't even going anywhere. No strings attached fun he was looking for. Got it. I was finding myself disgusting already so I couldn't masturbate but I'll feel more free now. Fucck, sugar, daddies