lightly reacting rude, dude

Thinking is never a good idea. I was doing dishes and thoughts about the ex haunted me since in years. The manboy probably taking advantage of another woman cuz her facebook has pictures of lunches she's probably paying him. Strong hunch since I lost like 17k because of upkeeping him, at least chatGPT rounded it up to that.

Then I was thinking about how I haven't decided if I want to use British or American English and whether it matters. Rubbish or trash, couch or sofa, odor or odour, favorite or favourite, elevator or lift, fall or autumn, mum or mom. That sorta thing. I just use whichever feels safe lol. Sometimes I've been attacked by natives at my English. Maybe they have a birth given right to be more knowleadgable.

Ate a protein shake and a few protein potato crisps. Having instant coffee. I have meat in the fridge but don't know what to make. Is minced meat really just for macaroni casserole? I've not even made meatballs.

I'm good. I think on White Lotus I've started season 3 yesterday. I was invited to eat home cooking tomorrow to my hometown but I'm not sure about if it's happening.

Last night I did some studying on my own. Maybe not ux design, but something along the lines of that. Signing up for a challenge, after a quiz told me I'd be good at jobs like engineer or first one was an information tech designer. I am aware of what I need to know now. Things that at school for printing, I got reprimanded for not knowing. Like fonts and colors not standing out, not knowing how to explain color theory since I failed that test like 3 times. Typography is something I wasn't born to do, since I'm not a perfectionist. I like my handwriting. I did listen to a book about ux from audible one time. Haven't given much thought to layouts on sites and mobile apps. I was listening at the same time Neuroscience for dummies last night. Got one note on my exam paper. White matter axions anglia. No idea what I've meant maybe myelin and axons...

Thinking also isn't a good idea for guys. It's insulting and rude to me to suggest taking a blue pill and come use me or that'd I watch pokemon with them ?? I am asexual and nobody's had sex with me all year. And it's March already and I don't want it. I have another kind of reputation, but really I'm rather frigid and cold, and not interesting in any conceivable way to the ego masturbation of men. I'd rather still be a virgin. Men have contributed nothing to my life. Their just there along for the ride.

I'm hungry. I don't feel like just eating anything. I'm thinking with my gut. So there's that. I've started to connect foods I don't like at the time, to feeling awful. I have been vomiting more than usual lately maybe. Not like eating disorder much, just... markings on my hand starting to appear. Almost healed already. And I mean from tooth and skin contact. Putting fingers in my throat. 

I have the best gag reflex control, but I even I can't hold it forever. I just always thought it's what you do with the bits that hang. I didn't mean to be good at moving my mouth and head around it. I don't mean to make guys legs quiver and shake and almost pass out. It is not my intention. Guys keep asking me about my jaws, if they hurt and I'm like idk. Does your hair hurt when it catches the wind? Or does it hurt your sock when you walk? Idk. Not relevant just tell me why you ask.

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